Milk
by Nyx Starlight
Summary: Tsunayoshi honestly didn't understand how it ended up this way. All he wanted was some milk in the middle of the night. He didn't anticipate Hibari and Mukuro fighting over who got to sit in the cart, Ryohei screaming about parkour, Gokudera becoming a ninja, Yamamoto sleeping in the worst possible places, and Lambo having an existential crisis about cereal. And the poor cashier.


**This is what Midnight Patrons was supposed to be in the beginning, heh, and I got bored so, yeah. Much, _much_ OOCness so just a precaution. Sorry for any mistakes.**

 **Let me know what you think**

 **Disclaimer: Don't and won't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn**

* * *

All was silent, not even a creak dared to sound itself in the house. Nothing moved but a lone shadow creeping along the halls, sweeping across the other occupants till it reached the door. The shadow grinned slightly and attempted to open the door but it ended up creaking and in horror, the shadow froze, its entire figure shuddering from the incoming demise.

"Herbivore…"

Tsunayoshi had nearly escaped the house, he had nearly been free.

"Oya, oya, Tsu-na-yo-shi."

Fear rolled off him in waves and as the two passive-aggressive allies made eye contact with each other, Tsuna shivered at the menacing glint in their eyes.

In the grand scheme of things, Tsuna really shouldn't have tried to get out of the house without alerting anyone. But he really, really, _really_ needed that milk, because when Tsuna gets cravings he has to satisfy those cravings. And as scary as they were, he was _not_ about to let Hibari and Mukuro keep him from his milk. A similar glint entered his own caramel hues and without remorse, hesitation, or worry for his own self, Tsuna grabbed one ear of the two men with each hand before dragging them outside.

His glare met their nearly surprised looks - except for Hibari because he was in no way surprised at the small teen's newfound bravery. Tsuna's hiss broke him away from his inner ramblings and Hibari silently listening in faint amusement at the anger in his snap.

Mukuro turned to the raven and let a smirk crawl over his face and erase the near surprised ghostly image. "Looks like we'll have to accompany you to the store then, Tsunayoshi."

Tsuna sighed irritably, the bags under his eyes all the proof the two needed for his foul and out of character mood. He was exhausted but when he had a craving, he needed to solve it. And so the trio began the short trek to the twenty-four-hour market that Tsuna gravely hoped would let them in to buy some milk. It was halfway to the store - the neon sign was even in range - when the faint shrieks of " _Tenth"_ were heard. _They could probably be heard from over a mile away_ Tsuna mildly commented in his head, his crankiness from lack of sleep showing even greater.

"Teeeeenntthh," Tsuna had half a mind to ignore the drawl, instead choosing to stare at the full moon that seemed to enjoy his misery. "Tenth," _If you ignore it, it'll go away eventually._ "Te-e-e-enth," _If you can't see it, it can't see you._ "Tenth!"

"Oh, my god Hayato, what do you want?" Tsuna snapped and for once, didn't bother to feel sorrow for the gathering tears in the corner of Gokudera's eyes.

"I- I just wanted to go with Tenth wherever you were going," those glimmering eyes were gonna be the death of him.

"Fine, just try to be quiet. I don't want to wake the neighbors up," _If you haven't already._

"Of course, Tenth! Anything for you."

It was when the four finally reached the supermarket, Tsuna realized that Yamamoto had actually been following them. By sleepwalking.

 _Yay._

When his unconscious body hit the still Tsuna, Takeshi awoke with a jolt. "Wuzzat- T-Tsuna?" The baseball star narrowed his eyes at Tsuna and gave a weak grin. "I knew you had stolen m' penguin, gimme back the lil rascal and I'll give you back Miss Fluffles," his voice was practically delirious, his words nearly incoherent. He then fell back asleep, particularly on top of a silently dying Tsuna.

 _If only Reborn could see me know._

"Okay," He turned to the three conscious maniacs behind him. "Do _not_ break anything or cause any form of ruckus or there _will_ be a problem," a grimace plastered on his lips and Gokudera frowned at this.

"Don't worry Tenth! I'll make sure to be the most silent out of everyone else," his voice was practically at a yell. "I'll make you proud," his voice then reduced to a whisper and Tsuna didn't know whether to cry or jump for joy as the bomber disappeared into the shadows.

"Right… Well since I'm here, I might as well get a… cart," Tsuna trailed off as he saw the shopping cart roll up next to him, Kyoya inside of it with a stony look on his face. Tsuna didn't ask. With a small struggle, he began to push the cart into the store, a faint flash of excitement in the skylarks dark eyes. Seeing as he was ignored, Mukuro hurried into the store only to trip over Takeshi who had fallen asleep at the entrance of the door. Shooting a glare at the unconscious male, Mukuro continued on his hunt.

A small hum came from Tsuna's lips as he went straight to the milk aisle, other things he should pick up while he was here on his mind. He bent down and checked the prices of the milk cartons. And then it happened.

"Sa-"

"-wa-"

"-da!"

Each syllable of his name was pronounced with huffs of breath in between. He was afraid to look up. Letting his eyes turn upwards, Tsuna nearly stopped and wept right there at the sight of Ryohei _\- When did he even get in here? -_ jumping from each aisle shelf to aisle shelf. At every wobble of the shelves, Tsuna swore his heart nearly stopped.

"You should-"

"-join me-"

"-in some-"

"-extreme-"

"-parkour!"

Tsuna totally didn't see the barely made handstands and narrowly missed clippings of the shelves. Nope, nuh-uh, no way.

He happily twisted away from where Ryohei was screaming about - and Tsuna quotes - "hardcore parkour" before nearly shrieking when Gokudera was behind him without a trace. Black cloth swathed Hayato's face and he stood in a strange pose with one hand in a fist against the other hand which jutted his fingers to the sky in a flat form. One leg was held against the other in a flamingo-like pose.

"H-H-Hayato?" The confused plea was practically a whisper as Tsuna stared in horror and the bomber nodded with a grunt before throwing a smoke bomb at the floor and in an instant, was gone. Tsuna rubbed his temples but continued the cereal aisle, he would have to get his milk later since it was cold. Reaching the aisle, while somehow not getting caught by the parkouring boxer, Tsuna just sighed when he saw Lambo. The small child was staring with a contemplative, analytical look on his face, glasses plastered over his large eyes.

 _Where did Lambo get those glasses?..._

He was muttering things under his breath, a strange look on his face as he examined each and every box of cereal with a puzzled look. "This one's 566 yen but better quality than the 486 yen box… But the 486 yen box is bigger by at least 1.2 times, despite from being a rip off brand. But then there's the box that's 679 yen that's the family size _and_ the original brand but 679 yen… That's not a good deal in slightest. Way too much money," he concluded. "B-But this one's cheaper but… it's smaller- there won't possibly be enough for both me and Mamma," _Had he even stopped talking in third person? What… the…_ "No, no, no, no, that just won't due. But when this one's the cheapest but then Stupidera will be upset it's the bad brand… And I can't spend all the money from Mamma on the good _and_ big box!"

Tsuna just walked away silently, if he didn't say another he could hopefully get away home free. And then he tripped. Over Yamamoto.

 _Damnit, Yamamoto._

Tsuna groaned in frustration, raking his hands through his hair when a thought struck him. _The cart!_ He had left it when he got distracted by Ryohei on the shelf tops. Racing back to the cart, Tsuna cringed when he heard a large crash from where the cart was. Skidding to a stop, he felt his heart stop as Mukuro and Kyoya were in an intense fight over who would get to sit in the cart basket.

"It's my turn skylark," Mukuro hissed, sparks flying as his trident collided with Hibari's tonfas.

"Not a chance pineapple-herbivore, the cart is _mine_ ," he growled, poison dripping from his every word. He got in front of the cart and stood in a defensive stance as if to protect it.

"No! No, no, no, no, no!" Tsuna shrieked and raced to the two when he tripped once more. _Takeshi you little…_ Said teen snored softly from where he was sprawled out across the floor, Tsuna fallen on top of him. _How does he keep moving if he's not even awake?_

A puff of air appeared above him and in a flash, Hayato had appeared, his hands together in what looked like prayer. "Do not worry Tenth, I will save you from this treachery!" His voice was barely a whisper but Tsuna could tell the obvious threat in it. Ninja stars embedded the ground directly around Tsuna, not a single hitting his flesh but practically a millimeter away from it.

"Hiiiiiieee!" The brunette cried, his limbs moving without him telling them to as he all but leaped away from the kunai that went for Yamamoto's arm that had somehow wound itself around Tsuna's leg. The blade flashed by him and he could practically feel the sharp edge biting into his skin. Clambering onto the top of the shelf, Tsuna tried to actually breath when Ryohei came back shouting at the top of his lungs.

"Sawada!"  
"So glad-"

"-you could-"

"-join my-"

"-extreme parkour!"

Tsuna wanted to cry.

"Oya skylark, step aside or I will not hesitate to destroy everything you know and love. That cart seat is _mine._ " Illusions surrounded the prefect but he ignored them and rushed forward with his tonfas aiming at Mukuro. Brandishing the trident, Mukuro charged as well, a bloodthirsty gleam in his multi-colored eyes.

"It doesn't make any sense!" Came the shrill sob from the cereal aisle, and Tsuna had no doubt it was Lambo, still in his cereal crisis.

Honestly, Commander Crack wasn't that good of a cereal anyway, he preferred Sugar Bread Crisp, but whatever. He ignored the crash of Mukuro tripping over the body of Takeshi - for the second time tonight - which had somehow appeared between the fight between the two. He wasn't sure he was even in reality when Kyoya - _Hibari Kyoya the bloodthirsty carnivore -_ laughed.

He could see the cracks now. He would wake up any minute now. _Wait._ Tsuna had a stunning revelation, _Now's the perfect time to get the milk!_ He still wanted that milk. Sneaking by the two monsters, he reached the milk aisle with a pant and eyed the carton of milk in the large fridge. Then he heard it.

"Watch out!"

Silence.

 _Thunk._

 _Thunk._

 _Thunk._

Faintly in the back of Tsuna's mind, he could picture exactly how Ryohei leaped across the shelves only to smash into Hayato who had appeared in a batch of smoke, shurikens in between each finger. He could see the two collide and when all was silent for a moment more when the shelves began to collapse one by one, smashing against the other next to it until it was one big, dangerous, horrific line of dominos.

That meant- _The milk!_ The shelves came ever closer to the aisle where Tsuna was and by god, he was _not_ leaving this store without his damn milk. Breaking into a sprint, he leaped over Yamamoto's unconscious body, barrel rolled away from the jumble of limbs that was Ryohei and Hayato and ducked to dodge the tonfa from the fight between Kyoya and Mukuro.

Lambo was still crying about the cereal dilemma.

He wrenched open the door to the large fridge and with a swipe of his arm, clutched the milk carton to his chest and somersaulted out of the aisle right as soon as it fell with a large crash. Breathing heavily, Tsuna blinked blearily and with an amble for a walk, he threw some money at the petrified cashier and made his way back home.

Milk in hand.


End file.
